Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Planet Fitness has possibly the best business model possible:

Every month they host Free Bagel Day and Free Pizza Day.

No one ever uses that gym membership to begin with, but now they're going to come in just to gorge themselves on carbs. Way to keep your fat, lazy customers from canceling their memberships.

My buddy just told me the SUNY Plattsburgh gym will actually mail you a letter if you haven't showed for a few weeks.

"Hey, buddy. We've missed you. Where you been, lately? You sure you want to keep that membership? Hmm?

You write a letter back, " Hey, sorry, I know, I've just been working a lot lately, and I'm running to class every day-"

"DON'T GIVE ME YOUR SHIT! I know you've been seeing another gym! I bet she's got a Pilates class, doesn't she? How many treadmills does your whore like??"

Which of course leads to the inevitable "Dear Jim/Gym Letter."