The Most Emo Pre-K Workbook Ever

• Remember, it's down the road, not across the street.

• While most kids cry for their mommies, some just cry for attention.

• Soundtrack: Punk Goes Raffi

• "YOU JUST DON'T REMEMBER WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE FOUR, DAD!"

• This is why I'm against letting toddlers where long sleeves.

• This is what happens when your kid gets into your My Chemical Romance CDs. Never keep My Chemical Romance around the house. Or anywhere.

• And here I thought I had been the only cynical, self-deprecating five year old.

• Actually, using safety scissors for this type of endeavor is less a plea for help than an exercise in raw dedication.

• Next thing you know, he'll be skipping out on day care to smoke cigarettes behind the 7-Eleven with nine year olds and shacking up with the chubby goth girl from playgroup.

• And listening to The Smiths.