The First Time I Have Ever Been Truly Grateful for Autocorrect

My iPhone just corrected "tape" from "rape."

I am very happy about this, what with the conversation I'd been having about book publishers and retailers merging/warring, and creating "antitrust red tape."

I honestly don't want to think about MacMillan & Co. creating red rape any time soon. That sounds like more the self-published-mommy-porn cup of tea, if you ask me, and I'm still of the opinion those abuse fantasy whackjobs should have kept it to watching Hallmark Channel original movies like back in the good old days.

Before the Dark Times. Before the Grey. Now the Soccer MILF is all but extinct … seduced by the dark side of vampire romance and edgy, South Reno strip clubs.

Alright, I can't actually shoehorn any more Star Wars references into that idea. Actually I almost said "Wedge," but I don't think enough of you are nerdy enough to catch that one. And if you did, I'm sorry I just explained it. I feel like C-3PO now. I'll be in the corner if anyone needs me.