Dear Everyone Who Survived Last Night:
I just want you to know I still respect you. I know New Year's is a crazy night. It's okay. I don't think any less of you, for any of those things you did. Really, it's okay. I promise.
I spent last night sick in bed, blankly staring at Ryan Seacrest, waiting for my NyQuil to kick in. At one point, I put chapstick on my nose because I was raw from blowing it so much. That's sad and embarrassing. Whoever you tried to make out with? Really, it's alright.
Dignity is a … relative process.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
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Get some Mentholatum for your nose - alleviates stuffiness and heals the chapping. You'll smell like a human cough drop but it's so worth it, and you don't have any dignity left at this point, anyway, right?
ReplyDeleteFeel better!