Nerds Have Opinions | Also Whales Are Big

Ewoks. Deal with it.

A friend texted me at 9 a.m. saying that she has finally seen "all three" Star Wars movies (good girl; doesn't count I-III) and asking which was my favorite.

That is a question that cannot be asked without initiating a very long and very opinionated diatribe. There are only four choices, and no response is ever as short as just naming one. These choices are:

A New Hope
Empire
Jedi
and saying any prequel, animated, or made-for-TV Ewok Adventure just to be an ass.

Now, one cannot just respond with one of these answers for two reasons, the primary of which being that Giant Jedi Nerds must always differentiate their favorite installment from the best.

The best Star Wars movie is, objectively speaking, Empire. You can argue it, but you will always end up losing to a nerd who knows more about the Trilogy. Irvin Kershner's directing, the darker tone, the serious mix of both fantasy and sci-fi, Empire is the most balanced of the Star Wars films, and is inextricably linked to both Jedi and A New Hope, as well as the prequels through the revelation of Luke's parentage.

There I go again. ever get a nerd started on absolute qualities.

Your favorite Episode is entirely up to you. Women seem to prefer Jedi for the up-ending, the redemption of Vader, the tempering of Han's cocky badboy attitude, and–yes–the adorable Ewoks. Men frequently side towards the other two, with perhaps a very slight leaning towards Empire for the reasons listed above.

Personally, I like A New Hope. It's the only stand-alone Star Wars movie. It informs the others in the series, it is not informed by them. This is A) the reason George Lucas made this particular piece of the story first, when there was no guarantee he'd have the opportunity to tell the rest of the story, and B) what makes it the only reasonable place to initiate new viewers.

I am inclined to now attempt the Saga cycle in a IV-V-I-II-III-VI sequence since I have the day off, but since I kind of want to still be a little productive today, I may just decide to watch five hours of Doctor Who in between menial tasks.

That in itself being a productive task, so now all the Whos down in Whoville will stop yelling at me to watch their series.