Literary GPS

When you work in a book store, you start to develop that kind of product GPS any retail experience grants you, but with the wonderful twist of being able to locate recently popular titles you've never even glanced at, simply by horrifically wanting descriptions.

Case in point: the book No Easy Day is a new release that was on the bestseller list before it even came out. Preorders alone put this book in the Number 1 slot, then rushed out the release date a full week. It's just controversial, a 'navy SEAL' claiming to have been a first-hand witness to the assassination of bin Laden contradicting the official report, claiming the death was really more lucky shot than tactical and reasonably provoked. Let's not mince words. We did assassinate the most wanted terrorist walking the Earth. Own that. We're still mad Hitler got to take it in his own time. The government frowns on this, and is suing the author, whose name FOX News leaked within an hour of announcing the title's controversy. This, makes a book very popular before anyone ever reads into its merit.

Today a man asked me the following:

"Hey, where's Osama bin Laden?"

…

I don't know, dude, rapped in a sheet somewhere on the bottom of the Atlantic?

Eaten by sharks, more likely.

Ooh, wait! He's secretly living in Montana because he was an American double agent since fighting the Ruskies in Rambo IV, alternately leading the triple life of a semi-retired cattle rancher and basketball all-star Kareem Abdul Jabbar.