Mid-Week Miscellany

In honor of my job giving me off on an idle Wednesday, I'm slacking off on coming up with a long, themed rant for today. Instead, here are a bunch of completely unrelated jokes I wrote while I was at work this past week. If there's any inkling of a thematic thread, that would be "Yes, Timmy, there really are stupid questions."


Printing out a coupon for $10 off an entire cheesecake after the purchase of a fitness book is the commercial equivalent of playing dirty pool.

I said, "Stay dry," because it was raining, but it became very awkward when I realized you were over forty and buying Fifty Shades of Grey."

I went to buy a thing online off of Amazon.co.uk but instead they made me buy it "in queue."

A couple walked past me coming back from my break at the chain bookstore, and the guy asked the girl, "What's your dream job?"My first thought was, "Hey. Fuck you, buddy."