7 Reasons to Watch SyFy's 'Jersey Shore Shark Attack'

• You can root for the sharks for most of the movie.

• Vinny Guadagnino, original Shore housemate, plays a TRL-styled reporter/V-Jay who functions essentially like the Greek chorus, providing information otherwise difficult to show with the pacing of the story.

•  The cliched vernacular is actually accurate, rather than outdated or laughably unhip. I mean, the dialogue itself is laughably bad, but that's really more an issue of source material….

• Besides a few cartoonish industrialist/industrialist's son villains, every character is pretty believable. I'm not really sure which people were guidos-turned-actors and which were actors portraying guidos. Except the two who were in an episode of Bones. They've at least ridden this one-trick pony once before.

• The SFX. I'm serious, actually. The CG sharks were terrible, but it's almost like whoever directed this watched Jaws and Jersey Shore before filming this. And took notes. ost of the effects are off-screen, or simple prosthetics when possible. Minimal animation, and ridiculous science-babble to explain why they're poorly rendered.

• There's about nine drinking games here.

• Joey Fatone.

I defy you to find anything here less realistic than reality T.V.