Hipster Baby Names

You have my word, in about nine years you're going to be seeing a lot of kids named:

"I'm set to play Kurt and Blane's adopted son
on Glee next season, but what are you up to?"

• Helvetica

• Patrick Barton Russel

•  Felix

•  Hemp

• Florence and The Machine

• Williamsburg

• Eugene (I'd say "Portland," but that'd get too popular too fast)

•  Kickstarter/Etsy/Pinterest/Any name ending in "-gram."

• You've Probably Never Heard of It (This one's going to be a bitch at day-care.)

• Borroughs

• John, but only ironically.

And for twins: "Margot" and "The Nuclear So-and-Sos." But nobody will like Margot.