Drink Your Milk, Become Bruce Willis

It's true, I'm essentially Unbreakable.

I get sick a little more often then I did as a kid, but then again, I'm a hell of a lot more active than I was as a kid. I'm also, you know, in contact with people these days.

Would you like to know the secret? It's nothing, really. Just a freakishly fast metabolism and milk.

Lots of milk. So much milk that before the age of 14 people look confused when you drink anything else. Enough that buying less than a full gallon every couple days is irresponsible.

Listen, I've made my point. I make it a lot better when I can rest my forearm on a level surface and smash my opposing fist into it without repercussion, but I've made it.

I'm a grown man, and I'm allowed to order milk with dessert if I want to. There, I said it.