Ruseel Brand's Mistress

I read today that Katy Perry has been devastated and declared her entire marriage (which as far as I knew ended amiably and without incident) a sham, after discovering soon-to-be ex-husband Russel Brand had had an affair. Of course the photo was blurry and quite possibly of a completely unrelated woman walking several paces behind him.

Still, how come famous married men always seem to cheat on their smoking hot, famous wives with women who aren't famous but look exactly the same? Barring Ashton Kutcher abandoning his teenage masturbatory phantasy for a scrawny blonde, it's a pretty universal phenomenon. Hell, even Jesse James ended up with a woman vaguely reminiscent of Sandra Bullock, just, you know, badass and kind of a Nazi.

I mean unless that was a photo of Zooey Deschanel. Then Russ just made an honest mistake.