Blue Ivy Carter | Yes, I Know I'm Behind On This

Looks like when famous people give
birth, they "look awful," meaning their
hair is feathered. '80s were rough, man.

I just found out, tonight, that Beyonce' and Jay-Z's daughter, Blue Ivy, is supposedly named after Jay-Z's album, "The Blueprint," and Beyonce's fourth and most recent album, "4" ("Ivy" being homophonous to pronounced a roman numeral IV).

What the shit, famous people. It was one thing to name your kid "Destiny Hope Cyrus," or even "Blanket." At least they have the good taste to call the kids something completely different to their faces. But naming your kid after your own albums? That's not just narcissistic, that's dumb.

What if Jay-Z had gay-married Danger Mouse? Would they have adopted a little Asian baby and named it "The Gray Album?"

How about just cutting out the middle man and naming your kid, "My Parents Are Fucking Famous?"

"My Parents Are Fucking Famous, did you turn in your homework today??"
"My Parents Are Fucking Famous, stop jumping on the bed!"
"My Parents Are Fucking Famous, you eat all of your caviar this instant, or you can't go fishing with Jaden and Willow Smith!"