On Polygamy

They must go through so much ketchup.

I was driving in my car today, because that's generally what a person drives other than tanks and golf balls and such. But I was driving behind a polygamist and I could tell he was a polygamist because he had one of those white stick figure family decals on his back windshield and that shit looked like the Mormon tabernacle choir.
One man, three wives, about ninety kids with dogs, cats, goldfish, and I think was supposed to be a crocodile but it really looked more like an alligator anyway, all holding hands with Jesus off in the corner stretching out his arms in a double high-five or whatever it is that Jesus is always posing for.
This guy must have been really proud of his polygamy. He must go home to his buddies and ask them how their wives are doing.
"Oh, you know, Bill, same old same old. Mary's pregnant again, and Jane's worried about our taxes."
"Oh! That's so right, you're only a bigamist! I always forget how cute that is. What's the matter, Ted? Couldn't ever bring yourself to settle down for a third time? Well, you take care now!"