Mothers, tired and exasperated, can usually only be distinguished from crack addicts by their proximity to a relatively clean child.
If my own children ever get into Harry Potter, they're each getting exactly one toy wand to play with, and they'll all be the same. I will have an elder wand, and I will constantly force my children to duel myself and each other to determine who is the superior wizard in our house. The winner will then be repeatedly smacked with a plastic lightsaber for being a giant nerd.
My long-term zombie survival strategies are pretty weak; most end at the local super market or Walmart. I think after that I'll try to determine if zombies freeze, and then try to make my way up to one of those isolated Alaskan towns. At least then I only have to worry about black-and-white vampires.
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