Greeting Cards for Exes

I freakin wish Mila Kunis was my ex. Except I'd never want to
screw that up. Maybe that's why we fail, I love too much.
Anyway, I saw "Friends With Benefits" last night and it was
amazing. No lie. Go see it.

I'm thinking of starting a line of cutesie greeting cards for exes, suitable for circumstances generally considered to awkward for audible comment.

The Getting Back in Touch:

 "Hey! How's your vagina?"

The Request:

"Hey, Dickbag, can I have my TV back?"

The "How's Your Family":

 "Is your sister still available?"

The Reacquainting:

"Heeeeeeyyyyyy … Guy!"

The Apology:

"I'm sorry I [broke/lost/killed/slept with/like that one really specific thing when we were in] your [possession/pet/relative/bedroom]. Please don't tell anybody."

I was also considering "The Get the Hell Away from Me," but that's pretty much what a restraining order is for, and I mean who really takes those seriously?