On Assholes

You know, I used to have ads on this blog.

I do again, but for a while I didn't. Because of my mother.

My mother thought the idea was to click every one of my ads multiple times a day, not realizing that since I had very little traffic and resided down the hall from her at the time, that it would appear as though I were clicking all my own ads, were one to look at the IP address.

The other problem is that Google is a pack of wild assholes.

Google AdSense is bot-run, meaning that if your mother clicks all your ads, they think it's you, ban your account, take back whatever money you legitimately earned, and refuse to let you ever use their service again. And there isn't a single human being you can talk to to fix this. You can appeal, sure, but you appeal to a robot. And the robot doesn't like you.

Today?

Today I log in to write a blog, I have no idea what on, and I see a little pop-up on my dashboard. Google wanted me to know that my blog has officially become "popular." I should think about monetizing with Google AdSense because other people as popular as me are making money.

Fuck you, Google. I tried to play your game. You're not prepared to deal with shiksa mothers. I made $10 in a month with you at 15 hits a day, and now that I'm doing more traffic and earning at best 1¢ a day, you want in on this shit?

You can't have me, Google.

I mean, you totally can if you'd just lift the ban and be human beings about it. But right now you can't and you won't, I just need you to stop being a bunch of assholes about it.