Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt 2 | More Like "Neville Longbottom Is Kickass, Pt 1"

This was the first Potter film I've seen in a theater since I think the one with the flamey cup. I know I saw Order of the Phoenix as a download before watching Deathly Hallows 1, but I also know I only saw this last one as a download, so either I blocked a viewing from my memory somewhere or things have gone a bit stupefied.

I got to the theater about 15 minutes before the movie was supposed to start, but it was sold out. From the machine it was sold out, and those things usually spit out tickets for hours after a showing is marked "SOLD OUT" in the ticket booths. As I was going in a second time to get a ticket to the next showing an hour later, a second 7 p.m. showtime popped up on the screen, which I grabbed.

The theater was empty. I mean empty-empty. It was me and some house lights and not even a pre-previews commercial real. I had to go outside and ask the ticket-taker lady what was up, she showed me that, yes, there was a showing starting right then, and she pointed me to Margaret, the floor manager in a black blazer who promised me the same. Apparently, they had just opened up a second showing five minutes beforehand. As I was Tweeting this and firing off "Don't Call Me" texts, a few other people wandered in. All-in-all, I think there were maybe ten of us for the whole show. It was pretty great. I took my favorite seat and spread my legs out and sipped from my contraband water bottle.

*SEMI-SPOILERS*

Nothing here should really be a spoiler. The book's been out for years, and I was definitely the only person in the theater who never read even one of the books.

Best Parts of the Movie:

• The Dark Knight Rises teaser trailer – Mostly stock footage from Batman Begins, but with a voiceover between Jim Gordon, looking like he's got emphysema and a spinal tap, lying on his side on a hospital gurney with an oxygen mask. (Maybe he got snapped in half by Bane?) and–it really seems like–Bruce Wayne, discussing the need for him to return as Batman. Except Bruce is all whiny about coming back and Jim's like 'YOU RAN AWAY WHEN WE NEEDED YOU.' Then there's footage of a very tired looking Batman getting into a fist fight with Bane and it's awesome. Lots of slides purporting this to be the "Conclusion" to the "journey."

• Neville Longbottom Kicks A Lot of Ass – I mean a lot of it. Apparently, while Harry, Ron, and Hermione dropped out to systematically murder parts of Sorcerer-Hitler's old man soul, Neville was left as the Big Man At Hogwarts and grew like 8 inches.
  
  
• Harry calls out Snape instead of some long, drawn-out and sneaky plot. Then McGonagall is a little badass.
  
  
• Just a whole lot of good, old-fashioned, on-screen murder. I mean just tons of it. When you don't care about the characters, at least. Everyone who died heroically in the book which people got pissed about, they still die off-camera just like the sweet owl and the guy with the weird eye in the last movie. BUT. This time you get to see their corpses tragically laid out. (I'm still pissed about the cute-as-hell girl with the purple hair.)
  
  
  
  
  
• Mrs. Weasley gets to be hella cool.
   
• Snape gets fleshed out and vindicated in about 7 minutes of straight flashback/reveal.
  
  
• The epilogue is BEFORE the credits, so no waiting for once. Also, at least in David Yates' mind, Emma Watson ages beautifully. I mean 19 years and she still only looks about 20? I'd get behind that even if our kids did turn out gingery.

Lame Crap:

"Pissing your pants stops fire magic, right?"

• Draco Malfoy is kind of seriously underused. Similarly, Ginny's fairly useless, in this and every movie.
  
  

  

  "It's STEP, SPIN, STEP, TWIRL, Potter! Get it right!"

• The final duel between Harry and Voldemort is kind of poorly paced in the final moments. It just sort of ends suddenly and with a whimper. It's realistic (as would be possible for a magical duel in a war zone), but it still feels very un-Hollywood.
  
  
• The epilogue is literally introduced by a "19 Years Later" white-on-black title card. Not very creative.
  
  
• For that matter, the "aging" I kept hearing great things about for the epilogue kind of blew.