Tiny Bug Plays the Skin Flute to World Record

Photo by Jerome Seuer, via BBC.

Sometimes I love the BBC.

Apparently the water boatman bug can make a noise of almost 100 decibels, making it–relative to body size–the noisiest fucking critter alive. GREAT JOB!

How does he achieve this feat?

He rubs his penis against his abdomen.




Are you sufficiently recovered from that mind-blowening? This bug frots himself as a mating call. That's like if I wanted to attract Mila Kunis by going over to wherever the hell Macaulay Culkin lives and jerking off really loudly outside their window. And it worked.

Bravo, little bug guy. Bravo for starting without a woman and just shouting until one comes to help you finish. That is a race against time, my friend. And you've got to have some pretty big balls to try it.

I just don't want to know what sound those make.