Here's a picture of me from about thirty seconds ago:
A handsome rake, I know, but as much as it's difficult to improve upon such near-perfection, it is possible. I say "near" because I believe it would always be possible for my to be less humble.
However you will also notice one other attribute that could support the "near" hypothesis. I have to wear glasses. Yes, though I was once blessed with the sight of winged predators, hovering just below 20-12 and approaching the realm of trained sniper agents, come of age my vision has withered some, requiring the usage of corrective spectacles which–if I might be honest–I think provide me a certain level of class and bookish reliability that counterpoints the rougish charm of my goateed visage. I mean when I want to look extra confident and completely too cool for the rest of you, I still pop in the contacts, but for prolonged or everyday use, I stand by my trust frameless.
Well, I did. For about eight years. But recently I've noticed that street signs aren't exactly as clear as they could be. Shifting between reading distances was becoming labored. Despite the perfection of my frameless frames, it was time to get new glasses.
Once health coverage kicked back in for my in January, the search began. Preferring the lack of a frame to hamper my sight, I ventured to continue with a frameless model, also with thin wire for the earpieces and a shape complimentary to my perfectly formed cheek bones. Finding very little even remotely close in the usual places and nothing affordable anywhere else, I ended up going to Walmart and perusing all six of their men's frameless choices.
And damned if I didn't find the perfect pair. Well, almost perfect. They're still not invisible corrective surgery, but I'll take them. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the new and improved look for Dave Zucker in the far off year of 2011:
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4 hours ago
your less-than-godlike eyesight might be frustrating, but i think you're more attractive with the glassses.
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