On New Year's Resolutions

I've never been good at New Year's resolutions.

Frankly, I never saw the point. You want to change yourself? Do it. Don't use a day as an excuse. This year, my "resolution" is to join a local gym because I want to start working put again and it's just getting too expensive to buy weights to use in my house, especially when I don't have the room to store them. My friend Zac's even pushing me to actually do it. Good man.

Then again, let's look at some previous years' tentative resolutions:

"Get the girl." - Failed spectacularly, repeatedly.
"Loose your virginity." - Alright, in fairness, that was a resolution and a birthday wish and a daily game plan for a number of years, actually.
"No crazy chick's in oh-ten." - This after oh-eight and oh-nine failed to live up to the same demand. Oh-eleven I expect to fail just as well.

This year, though, I think I've got the right idea. I'm just going to demand from the universe the following: to be in a romantic relationship wherein I am neither the skinny one, nor the pretty one, and maybe not even the smart one. Basically, I don't want to have to bring anything to the table, is what I'm saying.