On IRL Trolling

There once was a man named Philip R Greaves II who wrote an e-book he published to Amazon's self-publishing service. He called this book "The Pedophile's Guide to Love and Pleasure: a Child-lover's Code of Conduct." It was about exactly what you think it would be about. Colorado police arrested Greaves for violating Florida obscenity laws, finally finding a legitimate charge with which to charge a child molester who was shielding himself with lofty ideals of free speech.

At least, that's the story the media's spinning.

Oh, I have no doubt that this book was a horrifying thing. Obviously the book itself is protected free speech up until the point it encourages and actively incites others to commit crimes. I say "obviously" because that's how free speech works. Don't believe me? Ask the supreme court. Or Jack McCoy. Alright, I learned constitutional law from watching Sam Waterson on Law & Order. Shut up. I learned medicine from M*A*S*H and ER. I also learned cooking from Good Eats and how to make love from internet porn starring your mother. Piss off.

But I digressed a bit there. What I was originally getting at was this:

I don't believe Philip R. Greaves II is a human being. But he's not a monster. Actually, if I had to make my guess, I'd say he's Paul Giamatti.
This thing just reeks of an Andy Kaufman styled practical joke with a vague political point. Free speech is being pushed, I don't think anyone has actually read this supposed tome which no reasonable person couldn't consider an awful thing and–frankly–even the name sounds incredibly fake. It seems like a manufactured controversy, somewhere out there Jim Carey is waiting to switch places with Paul at just the right moment to make us think that Greaves is an actual person. They're the only ones who are going to get the joke, anyway.

Either that, or Jimmy Hetfield only founded Matellica for the sweet, sweet underage groupies.

Alright, maybe both.
(Sorry, James.

EDIT: Greaves was sentenced Wednesday, April 6, 2011 after pleading no-contest to charges of "distributing obscene material depicting minors engaged in harmful conduct." He will not have to register as a sex offender, which is great since I still don't think he's a real person.