Year 0: Engagement ring in little black box, wrapped inside an ugly Christmas sweater in its own box.
Year 1: Sexy lingerie, but paired with Wonder Woman Underoos.
Year 3, after promotion and raise: New Car with one of those giant red ribbons.
Year 7: Vacation to some really pretty island.
Year 8: Baby crib, wrapped in one of those giant red ribbons.
Year 28, after no longer caring: Three books about kids in college and empty-nest syndrome, but with one of those giant red ribbons.
Year 40: A gift card to T.J. Max. Hey, giant ribbons don't grow on flipping trees.
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