On The Truth About Cats & Dogs II: "Cat You Later"

My friend Carolyn has a puppy who runs during REM sleep. She also has a fully grown Labrador who also runs and twitches as she dreams.

She also has a cat.

I've had plenty of cats and I can assure you: no cat has ever ran in its sleep. Why? What is up with cats that they don't do this? Do they not experience REM sleep? Is there dignity and self-control so powerful that even whilst they slumber cats will not permit their baser instincts to make them look the fool? (Considering the positions the often sleep in and their confounded reaction to laser pointers, I refuse to believe this possibility.) My theory?

Cat's don't have hopes or dreams.

They merely have a list of demands, and only remain with us so long as we meet those daily.