Breaking News! 3

Dec. 10, 2009:


No Means Yes? Tickle Me Elmo Introduces Safe Word


Trenton Man Watches Every Episode of Law & Order, Even Trial By Jury; Easily Passes N.J. Bar Exam

Thanksgiving Turkey's Diary Discovered In Attic, Tells Tale of Woe

ITT Tech Dean Offers CS Degree to Anyone who Can Set Up New Wireless Printer

Local Reporter (White, 35, Balding) Inserts Personal Ads Into Headlines, Seeks Large-Breasted Black Supermodel With Lycra Fetish Age 18-21

Liberal West Coast Ivy League School Teaches Racism, Redneckery Just to Piss Off Fox News
Rape Victim Wanted It, Says Aging, Haggard, Overweight Cop

Internet Bully Compared to Hitler In Real Life. Cries, Writes Scathing Blog "What I Should Have Said"

Jim Perdue Visits Psychic, Confronted By Ghosts of One Trillion Dead Chickens