Still More Astrophysics Jokes!

Stemming from entries "Astrophysics Jokes," "Even More Astrophysics Jokes" and "As Yet Even More Astrophysics Jokes!"

(You should check those out, too.)

• Observing Type Ia supernovae is a lot like stalking someone who already has a restraining order against you. You're constantly watching them, but you just have to hope you don't get caught too close to one.
  
  
• Singularities are like dicks; once you go black, you never come back.
  
  
• Your mother's so massive she's cleared the local neighborhood around her orbit.
  
  
• Your game's so weak it violates parity.
  
  
• Astronomers try not to get too excited for fear of reionizing the universe.
  
  
• The cosmological constant may prove once and for all that two branes are better than one.
  
  
• Scientists are only searching for WIMPs because they know what it's like to be the fat kid no one hangs out with.