On Spam Mail 1

I never enjoyed getting spam in my inbox.

That's a lie. I used to love it. This would be back when I never really got anything new or interesting. Now it's an annoyance. Frankly, unemployment post-graduation has weeded out a lot of the problems. Gmail took care of the rest, but I still have to see all the emails for erectile dysfunction drugs and dirty Russian sluts being left alone on a farm.

Well, I think I've found the solution to my troubles. You see, I recently came across a series of response emails I write back in the days when I had a lot of free time and not a lot of creative outlets.

So for the next few days, enjoy my angry ramblings and feel free to use them in dealing with the few scammers that are too dumb to leave off a return address.


LETTER THE FIRST:

Dear Sirs,
Please remove me from every mailing list you have and do not distribute my e-mail
address to anyone else. I am tired of receiving spam and blank spam at that. If this e-mail
does not get returned due to your address closing down, please, know this: I hope you die from a staph infection resulting from fornicating yourselves with sharp, rusty farming implements, and that your mothers do not shed one tear at your collected funerals.

Sincerely,
Reverend D.E. Zucker