On 1337

If you're looking for a sexual cheat code, may I suggest ^^ˇˇ‹›‹›BA START."

Some time back in high school I set myself the challenge of writing dialogue entirely in leet-speak. [As in "elite," that stuff nerds post in nerdy chats non-nerds don't go to and thus never learn.]

Now, being maybe 17, obviously what I wrote was porn dialogue. It was the least nerdy thing I could think of.


- “0, jeah. S|_|x0r |^|y c0X0r, 817[|-|!”

- “|^|mm, 848y, j3s. d0 17 |-|4rD!”

- “0k4y, 8483, 83|\|D 0\/3r $0 1 [4|\| f|_|x0r j0|_|r |>|_|$$y!”

- “00oo, j3s, 848y, j3s. F|_|x0r |^|y |>|_|$$y!”

Line 1: THRUST LEFT
Line 2: THRUST RIGHT
Line 3: THRUST UPWARDS
Line 4: DEEP THRUST
Line 5: Go to: Line 1.

- “0, j3s, 848y! [)0 |^|3 |-|4r[)3r! F|_|X0r |^|3 |-|4r[)3r!”

- * |_| |-|!* “[0|^|3 0|\|, 817[|-|, |/\||-|3r3 [)0 j0|_| |/\|4|\|7 |^|3 2 [|_||^| ?”

- |^|m, 0, 848y, [|_||^| 1|\| |^|y 4$$!”

[Sp700dg3]

End Program
Prompt: Save “|/\|0m4|\|”’s phone #?
No.
Quit.


If it isn't clearly evident, I was having zero sex at this time in my life, as is the case with anybody who managed to read all that.