On Choices

I happened to wander out to Lou's Corner Store tonight with my friend Dean, where the above image was taped to a display case of sausages and deli meats. Dean mentioned that he always liked this photo.

I said I was confused. I asked who the man on the left, number 21 was.

Paul O'Neill, I was told. The right fielder.

I asked why he was climbing over other people.

I was told that that's basically every member of the team. Usually the catcher runs out to the pitcher, then the infield runs in, then the dugout and the outfield is last simply by virtue of being farthest away at the moment of triumph.

And I said, "No."

"I mean why is he climbing over people, literally walking all over his teammates?" Why was this Paul O'Neil character such a dick all of a sudden? I played little league. I don't care if you made it to the majors, if you're playing right field you're the "slow" kid on the team. Paul could have just as easily jumped and crowd surfed across the dogpile. I'm sure he didn't have to step on three guys to be a part of that big gay scrum.

Seriously, Paul O'Neill. What was up with you?