On Responsibility

One of the most hilarious things you can choose to do with your Saturday night is volunteer to D.D.

The designated driver basically gets to have the most wild adventures while remaining sober. He sees everyone at their best and worst throughout the night, which are usually fairly close together. He knows things about you now.

He does not have to pay for the few drinks he does consume. If he starts losing at beer pong, his partner will willfully consume all sunk cups. He gets to play all the Guitar Hero he wants. People buy him food for stopping at a drive-thru on the way home.

He is the designated driver. And he is leering unnervingly at your sister.