On Putting On The Ritz

I have to assume that the purpose of a bar's hand stamp is not to mark that they have judged you old enough to drink libations in their establishment. No, the real reason is obviously so you can look at your hand in the morning and feel the moment your hangover is exacerbated by just how bright the colors are so early in the mor-

Fuck. Is that the time? Okay. Late afternoon/early evening then.

Well the point still stands. I look down at this tiny little scarlet letter, an ex mind you, and I am conflicted with dreams of being a superpowered mutant, sitcoms in which I pose as a straightedge asshole. And then I just far back to the scarlet letter analogy and I feel like it's just a small, highly visible tramp stamp, explaining to everyone that I did very bad things last night and no, I was not up to showering the next morning before going out for a Denny's Drunkover Special.