On The Perfect Crime

So this past week my mother was on an extended vacation.

I had covered my tracks preemptively. Every vacation of long weekend trip I make sure to say, "And of course If I have any wild sex, drugs and rock & roll orgies, I'll make sure to clean up before you get back."

It was fool proof.

After a few rounds of beer pong and some music and burgers we headed out for the night.

The next day I slept in, fixed the curtain rod (again), wiped down the tables, cleaned the rug by the sliding glass door and all through the living room, mopped the kitchen floor, took out the garbage, recycling and all soiled cleaning supplies, and even went so far as to replace the preexisting messes throughout the house.

What I did not think to deal with was the vomit my one friend hurled over the side of the deck onto the neighbor's patio.

Curses. Foiled again.