I Am On Fire (In A Figurative, Not Literal Sense)

Things I Did Today:

• Woke up at 1 p.m.
• Showered
• Ate a breakfast of banana, yogurt, pumpkin(?) bread and a brownie
• Had class/wrote script
• Had class/watched Bio-Dome. Joey Lauren Adams. Go figure.
• Pet a wandering Rottweiler around 7 p.m.
  
• Bought some wine
• Made chicken cordon bleau + salad
• Did reading, finished group project
• Baked chocolate chip cookies from scratch
  
• Rebuild light switch in beer pong room (did not get electrocuted)

Things I Did Not Do Today:

• Masturbate

I know correlation does not prove causation, but the facts are indisputable.