Because I'm Tired: Early Monday Post

Things that happened today*.

*"Today" shall refer to 12 a.m. to present.


- Got back from bar around 2 a.m. Sang songs
- 3:30 a.m. heard visiting chick fuck some dude who was not her boyfriend. Shit was hot. Mental note: spare room's not well sound proofed.
- Awoken around 5:15 a.m. Stuck up slut and not-boyfriend fucking again. Decide to reinflate their Aerobed with the loud motor, then continue fucking. She was a gasper, not as much a moaner.
- Awoken at 10:15. Slut and N.B.'s friend arrives via cab after beign the 6th guy that night to make out with and the 3rd ever to fuck some slut from his frat's sister sorority, after meeting her in and conference in NYC a few weeks ago. Much shouting. D-Phi is a shitty frat, D-Phi-E girls are total sluts.
- 10:45. Sluts and bros leave for breakfast. Peace at last.
- 11 a.m. Alarm goes off. Shower. Dress nicely.
- 12 p.m. Mother arrives for Phi Beta Kappa induction ceremony.
- 1 p.m. Inducted into Phi Beta Kappa. Snagged free cheese.
- 4ish. Go to 'dinner' at Applebees
- 6ish. Return from dinner, load mother's car to leave. Discover her tore is flat. Claim I've parked for a long weekend over same glass many times. No one has ever gotten a flat there. Change her tire to spare while being accosted by black children, first for my awesome Nerf gun, then for my disco ball, then for not living at home, then for clearly deserving a Vulcan neck pinch, then for not choosing the hotel they think i should have.
- Later: took mom to her hotel I found her the best deal on since no repair shop is open at 7:30 on Sundays, Walmart for toiletries; gave her location and time the car shop opens tomorrow.
9 p.m. came home finally to discover someone opened and took a can from the Red Bull pack I asked my mother to bring me and was very happy to receive.

Today was fucking WEIRD.