On Sexual Equality

I think, in the interest of fairness, women should begin saying "No lesbo" after complimenting each other.

"Like, oh, my god! Those pants make your ass look, like, perfect! Oh! No lesbo! TEE-HEE-HEE!"

This also has the added benefit of clearly denoting simple girl-compliments from the very similar but pronouncedly hotter ambiguously homoerotic pseudo-compliment, the introductory dialogue by which roving bands of biker dyke undercover lesbians surreptitiously lure in the unsuspecting prey that is our womenfolk and tempt them into the sick and satanic soul-sucking Saphic rituals that seriously look pretty hot I mean not in like the cool man/woman missionary-with-the-lights-off sort of way, but somethin pretty cool too like maybe if I were a woman I'd enjoy the soft, supple touch of another woman as she took me in her arms and tells me I'm special and makes me feel so good so, so good….