On Light Bulbs

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1, but he brings his whole family.

How many white people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three; one to take a Mexican's money, one to get him over the border, and one to pay him sub-standard wages to screw in the light bulb.

How many French guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
We give up.

How many Communists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
All of them.

How many capitalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
“If you look to the graphs we’ve provided to the left we’ll see that while we normally would seek to find the maximum profit for minimum expenditure while still retaining most of our workforce overseas, it is actually easier in this case to hire a single Mexican off the books.”

How many Zen monks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
"What is the sound of one lightbulb screwing?"

How many Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I dunno, but they do it over and over and over again until they don't care about the lightbulb.

How many Hindus does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Doesn't matter. Last life the light bulb was a candle and now that it's dead it'll become a tanning bed.

How many Christians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Jesus.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
No, don't bother for us, we'll just sit here alone in the dark going blind and would it kill you to date a Jewish girl every once in a while?

How many couples counselors does it take to change a light bulb?
"Are you sure its the lightbulb that needs to change and not you?" - (Aaron F'N Gold)

How many Twilight fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they'd rather brood in the dark anyway.